hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
