i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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