I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
