wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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