I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
