there was a trapeze. enough said
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
