Umm I'm too high to move.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
