i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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