I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
