i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
