let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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