Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
