Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
