Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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