Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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