they said they heard you say put it in my butt
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I need moral support for this bender
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
