dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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