Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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