Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
