Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i will never coherently bang her
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
