I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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