i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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