if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
