How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
