you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
God, I missed his penis.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
