you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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