worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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