Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
you had me at cake vodka
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
