My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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