I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
