i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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