So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
dude. I can hear the air.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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