no, he came in my armpit
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
