guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You've changed since you got that strap on
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
