i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
