No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
