that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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