your thong is hanging out like whoa
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
