You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
