he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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