Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We named our party play list daddy issues
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
