Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
