It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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