I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
