had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
