just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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