I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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