By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
