apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
