Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
