He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
